dumbing down

I was studying mein Deustch the other day and thinking about why literature at the lowest common denominator always utilizes exceedingly ethnic names just to hammer the point home.  I mean, really, does Asha Singh HAVE to be aus India?  And does the Chinese girl in Harry Potter really need to be named Cho Chang?  Please.  While indulging in some chick lit the other day, I discovered that even writers for an adult audience feel compelled to use names like Young Mi, RaSheen Tipper, just in case we forget who’s Asian and who’s black.  Thank you for clarifying.

In completely unrelated news, I spent some time with my cousins the other day.  And I realized that my youngest cousin is a spitting image of those George Bush cartoon images, with the big ears sticking out, tiny round eyes, and silly grin.  Which is both hilarious and not, seeing as how my cousin is a 7-year-old girl.

sublimation

I’ve always been a fan of children’s literature that secretly denounces urban sprawl,  like The Lorax and The Little House.  So when renting Over the Hedge, I thought, great!  Another message about the evils of tract housing cleverly disguised as a children’s film with talking animals!  And after the first few minutes, I was even more delighted to see the potential for further preaching on the evils of processed foods.

But instead, there was no ultimate message about deforestation and obesity.  It was actually just a movie about the importance of friends and family that happened to feature talking animals.  Which was actually pretty good!  I think this is the problem with cartoons these days.  I track the downfall of cartoons back to the introduction of Ren and Stimpy, which went for frat boy humor and frantic images and steered the masses away from the Gummi Bear vessels of happiness and light.  There’s nothing wrong with cartoons that really are only intended for the 2-5 age group.  I  mean, everyone else has graphic novels and anime and the like to fall back on.   I suspect this is why Pixar and Dreamworks have been such successes – not only for their ability to inject adult humor into cartoons, but because the part for kids is good!  You can put your child down in front of this film with as little guilt as you’re ever going to feel for anything involving TV.  I mean, it may not have the cognitive elements of Blue’s Clues or Dora the Explorer, but it teaches you that family and friends are important!  More than food!  And while I may sometimes disagree with this statement, no harm in teaching it to children.

By the way, sublimation actually has nothing to do with subliminal messages or anything else in this post, but is a word I learned recently referring to the change from a solid to gaseous state without passing through a liquid state (classically demonstrated by the change from dry ice to vapor).  This can also be used to refer to a psychological state in which the mind channels a negative state into a positive outlet.  Like when rage and depression are used to create works of art.  So this word is here just because it sounds somewhat like subliminal.

today in class

My dad, brother, and I spent the morning at Peet’s. We were supposed to be studying Greek tourist spots, vector statics, and German (respectively), but instead my dad and I bullied my brother into listening to our brilliant theories on life. And being the generous and loving family members we are, we even charged him a discounted rate on our awesome advice. The highlights of which included:

- Never borrow money unless you can make more money investing somewhere else. Or unless you are borrowing for a home, education, or business.

- If you own a house you own in California, never, EVER sell it. Under any circumstances.

- If you are truly experiencing financial difficulties, sell your/your wife’s egg in order to keep your house. I mean, try taking out a second mortgage first, but if that pool has already been tapped, sell the eggs.

- Never sell your eggs for less than $10k. For my elite-university-educated, gainfully-employed, and hot friends, never sell for less than $20k.

- Marry/become a nurse. Well-paid, protected by unions and state licensing requirements, increasing demand for the foreseeable future, and less arrogant than doctors.

- Floss every day.

- Whether the answer is yes or no, just say it like you mean it.

- Make sure you have health care and somewhere to live. Everything else, marriage and income included, is just details.

- Never drive in LA unless it’s an emergency situation. Oh wait, that’s not life advice. That was just me after it took an hour for us to drive 20 miles out of Westwood and 5 hours to drive the other 400 miles back to the Bay Area.

the fugitive

Borrowed from throughadoor:

Scandal of the Day

Records from the Cambridge Traffic, Parking and Transportation office show that between Oct. 5, 1988 and Jan. 12, 1990 Barack Obama was cited for 17 traffic violations, sometimes committing two in the same day. The abuses included parking in a resident permit area, parking in a bus stop and failing to pay the meter. Twelve of Obama’s 17 tickets were given to him on Massachusetts Avenue.

In one eight day stretch in 1988, Obama was cited seven times for parking violations and was fined $45. Thirteen of the 17 violations occurred within one month in 1988.

As a registered Democrat, my immediate and violent reaction upon hearing this shocking account law-breaking exposed was: 7 parking tickets for FORTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!?! That’s a better bargain than Target’s dollar aisle.

bills bills bills

In a shocking turn of events, I visited the ATM today to find that my bank’s machine now spits out fifties! How long as this groundbreaking event been going on? And more importantly, when is it going to start giving us fives and tens as Union Bank of California is rumored to provide?

When I was traveling, one quirk that greatly pleased me was the plethora of ATMs that handed out bills of all shapes and sizes. It just seems so logical to get a little bit of everything so you’d have all the right change. And now that we may finally be following suit, I have to wonder if it really even matters. Walgreens certainly doesn’t care if we pay for a pack of gum with $50. Nor does Starbucks. The Bank of Walgreens doesn’t even mind when you roll in and get some cash to go with your gum. The only time we really need change is when boarding MUNI, and not even then for the tens of thousands of you not paying your fares.

Now that we can pay for the bus with our cell phones, hand waiters five credit cards instead of cash (not that I condone this completely obnoxious behavior), and use credit cards without the taxing wait to sign a receipt, the excitement of this day of the ATM dispensing a multitude of denominations has been dampened.

in the middle

People love to lament the ‘disappearing middle class’ that’s being continually squeezed on both ends by ever-increasing rich and the rapidly dropping lower class. And not to discount their troubles, but don’t you sometimes feel that average is disappearing everywhere?

In the world of academia, Cs are no longer course for par. And this is not coming from the neurosis of being raised in an Asian-American household, this is coming from a world where the minimum GPA required for admission to the UC system is 3.0. Meaning, not only are Cs unacceptable, Bs are just barely cutting it.  For the public school system intended to serve state residents.  Which you know, any high-schooler in the nation could tell you. But if you have the students fighting for AP Art History and AP Psychology to score the elusive 5.0 and you have another group of kids tracked into ‘vocational’ programs because in today’s high schools there are AP classes, honors classes, and ‘regular’, there’s no place for a C. If there are only two socioeconomic classes in the nation, there are only two groups of students too – those who think an A is average and those who think failure is.

Or what about the marketing of food in society? One minute we have supersize meals and a film and two expository books later we’re eliminating transfats and eating salads with Destiny’s Child. And while I have nothing against supersized fries or Beyonce, can’t we just all have Happy Meals and be happy?

The primary system pushes candidates to extremes.

The globalization of the sports world, increasing competition from the young and healthy, and the amazing world of pharmaceuticals has pushed athletes to ‘roids or retirement.

The GAP has abandoned white button downs, jeans, and khakis to chase after pets, tweens, trendy soccer moms, and grandmothers.

The only place I’m seeing a middle ground these days is EW’s ever-enlightening In, Five Minutes Ago, Out column. And even that’s inherently pushing towards two groups.

But while I rail about how the pursuit to win it all is squeezing out the middle and leaving those at the bottom far behind, let’s be honest. Of course we want to be the next Larry and Sergey, LeBron, or godforbid, Paris. At my last job, they instilled a new yearly review system where the HR consultants repeatedly told us 90% of us would be ‘average’ and that was ok. That average was what we should strive for, and what would be rewarded with raises. But while it’s nice to hear the powers that be saying ‘average is good!’, I was secretly thinking, please, I’m going to be in the 5% exceeding and getting a bigger raise. No one wants to be average.

i can read with my eyes shut!

The NEA proclaimed March 2 to be ‘Read Across America’ day, celebrated on the date of Dr. Seuss’ birth. Dr. Seuss was chosen for his efforts to promote child literacy, beginning with the writing of The Cat in the Hat, written from a list of 250 basic 1st grade vocab words. And ignoring unfortunate film versions starring Jim Carrey and Mike Myers, it really is enjoyed by children everywhere and turns 50 this year. While it’s no Lorax, speaking on the importance of environmentally sustainable business practices and biodiversity, at least we are now all aware of the perils of leaving children unattended. And of course, the dangerous effect of having animals in your home. Let that be a lesson to all you pet owners.

The NEA suggests that we celebrate this great day by reading to a small child. Since I just discovered this holiday while surfing Wikipedia 15 minutes ago and have none handy, I fully intended to call my brother and read a children’s book to him tonight. He may be 20, but I think he’s 5, and during the holidays, it’s really the thought that counts.

listen up, maggots

STUDY: College Students More Narcissistic

Today’s college students are more narcissistic and self-centered than their predecessors, according to a comprehensive new study by five psychologists who worry that the trend could be harmful to personal relationships and American society.

The standardized inventory, known as the NPI, asks for responses to such statements as “If I ruled the world, it would be a better place,” “I think I am a special person” and “I can live my life any way I want to.”

“We need to stop endlessly repeating ‘You’re special’ and having children repeat that back,” said the study’s lead author, Professor Jean Twenge of San Diego State University. “Kids are self-centered enough already.”

>>>>>

Oh so appropriate reminder for bloggers everywhere. Fight Club speaks the truth. We are not special. We are not beautiful or unique snowflakes. Let’s teach children to repeat that.