losing ground

First Jay-Z dropping dollars for euros, then the rise of authentic handbags in China and a fashion revolution (not to mention, you know, tremendous business growth and reverse immigration), and now, in these past two days, two new blows at American supremacy.  That’s right, I’m talking about the recent toppling of America as the fattest in the world and the number one exporter of arms.

Please note that America still retains a 5 year overall advantage in gun exports, and I’m sure we can rest assured the import levels are as high as always.  But it’s the beginning of a dangerous slide, I tell you.  To quote a wise and influential man – Come on America!  Texas can’t keep this up by themselves!

Speaking of guns and other concealed weapons, I had a conversation the other day with a colleague who doesn’t want her young daughter going to a rock concert without her supervision.  I sympathized with her concerns and when another person said, “oh, let her go, what’s the worst that could happen?” I defended her parenting decision by firing back “she could be kidnapped, raped, and murdered!”  After some strange looks, the mother eventually volunteered, “Actually, I don’t want her to hear bad words”.  So, this is what parents Germany worry about.

For some reason, I am subscribed to the mailing list of our main office.  There are often emails about lost and found items.  Today I came across one that read:

FOUND:  Honda car keys on a Hello Kitty key fob.  Please claim at front desk.

Clearly, we should be creating an Asian-associates-list@company.com handle for these kinds of messages.

There has been a lot of “football” going on with the EM spreading excitement and joy throughout the land.  And honking horns throughout the night.  The fact that I wonder why Germans are still honking their horns in celebration at 1am must mean I am 1) foreign or 2) old and crabby.  But at least another soccer mystery has been solved for me.  I always wondered how soccer fans live without timeouts/commercial breaks.  When do they get food?  drinks?  use the facilities?  phone a friend to discuss the game?  But after two weeks of all “football” all the time, I’ve realized that not only can you leave during the game, you can leave, bake a cake, let it cool, frost, make espresso, and the score will be exactly the same as when you left.

Activities during yesterday’s game: making homemade balsamic strawberry ice cream with berries picked last weekend on the farm.  Yes, I am a rock star, I know.

i have black friends

Meet a Black Guy in Corvallis, Oregon

Best quote ever:

Sherry Littlefield of Corvallis said the booth was unnecessary. She and friend Ron Naasko said they have black friends, and would be voting for Barack Obama for president. “I guess I don’t care what color people are.”  “I think it’s degrading. It’s a little bit low class,” Naasko said.

HAHAHA.  I’m going to vote for Barack Obama.  I don’t need to meet black people at the farmers’ market.

I should open up my own booth in the Englischer Garten.  Meet an Asian Girl.  Free photos!

Although, come to think of it, there are probably more Asian people in the Englischer Garten than German ones.  But perhaps in Metzingen or Großbettlingen.

economics 1a

A few weeks ago, I went through a period of five days where I basically ate mac and cheese or kaesespaetzle every day.  Although I love true homemade mac and cheese and take great pride in my mastery of the creamiest recipe ever with fresh Parm and parsley bits all over the top, I have the most inexplicable craving for some processed orange Kraft goodness.  I can’t explain it.  But the idea of that little blue box and powdery “cheese” has me drooling all over the keyboard.  Despite the fact that I have three types of cheese, including white and orange cheddar, purchased for the express purpose of producing more delicious mac and cheese.

This leads me to the greater topic of whether or not you always get more for your money.  Clearly, some items were invented with the poseur audience in mind: Prada cell phones, Mont Blanc pens, Louis Vuitton anything.  But on the flip side, you’re always reading about items where it’s worth it to go the extra mile: suits, dairy products, purses.  This is one of our favorite topics of conversation during Saturday shopping – what makes a 1000 euro pair of shoes hot and and 100 euro watch not?  And vice versa?  And if quality really matters, why are my $3 Target ballet shoes still far more comfortable than any other ones I own, Napa leather, satin, and designers be damned?

After much discussion, I’ve decided this this basically comes down to three factors:

1.  The Bonnie factor.  No, not if it makes you look irresistibly cute, although that’s good too.  But rather, a factor of wearability – every time you wear the item, the price is divided in half.  Thus, my handbag is already free, while that $20 top you got on sale two summers ago is….$20.  Plus lost return on potential investments.

2.  Decreasing marginal utility.  You all remember this lesson from Econ – you would pay $5 to eat a sandwich.  Would you pay $5 to eat a second sandwich?  Yes (I would).  Would you pay $5 to eat a third sandwich?  I might, but in the interest of time, let’s get the point, which is that eventually, you would lose interest in said sandwiches, dropping the going price.  Therefore, it’s easy to see that the $100 watch are better than the $50 watch, and the $1000 even better.  But are the $10,000 watches really giving you anything more?  Ich don’t think so.

3.  The X factor.  What makes it okay to buy madeleine molds, Keds with panda bears and bamboo, and gourmet ice cream with wacky flavors.  Sometimes you just want it.  And it’s good.

another weekend in Munich

Saturday shopping cheers and jeers
Good: Finally proving you have steady income and getting an EC card that is also an ATM card
Also Good: Tossing your ATM card and minimizing clutter in your wallet
Bad: Finding perfect shoes on sale, only to realize you did not yet receive your EC card PIN.  And your ATM card is at home.
Good: having a little friend with EC/ATM card and PINs for both.
Bad: said little friend being at work, along with aforementioned methods of payment.

Sunday street fair cheers and jeers
Good: lychee-pistachio ice cream
Bad: lychee-pistachio-pepper ice cream.  Schubeck, why must you push the limits?
Good: real USA cheeseburgers and burritos
Bad: finding burrito stand only after lunch, afternoon coffee and cake, hamburger, and ice cream
Good: booths offering quick and easy pet castration
Better: six foot tall black men teaching diaper-wearing toddlers how to do capoeira
Best: teenage boy watching teenage girls perform hip hop routines and commenting “oh, if only I wasn’t gay”

new offerings

Lidl is having British food week, and as much as I enjoy making fun of the German for his love of meat sauce, mince pies, puddings, and other crazy things developed during his seven years in London, I can’t wait to leave work and stock up on 20 kilos of cheddar.  Granted, I should be more suspicious of anything that purports to keep until September, but we have no Tillamook factory here, so I try not to be too picky.

I missed American food week, but if anyone from Lidl is reading, here are my requests for the next one:

1.  All-natural peanut butter.  Life in Germany has marked a regression to Skippy-esque, artificial ingredient-filled consumerism.  I believe this exists in organic health food stores, but it’s peanut butter.  I shouldn’t have to dig for it like a farm animal in search of truffles.

2.  Vanilla extract.  And vanilla beans.  While it is surprisingly easy to make your own vanilla extract, you need a good supply of quality vanilla beans.  And in Germany, it’s either individually packaged-in-glass vanilla bourbon beans or nothing.

3.  Steel cut oats.  I thought this was an Irish thing?  Why is it so hard to find when Munich is so much closer to Ireland than, say, San Francisco?  Is McCann’s not really Irish?  At least this is the one treat from America where I don’t have to worry about the German depleting my imported food stash.  Unlike, say, Girl Scout cookies or special teas.

4.  Chicago-style deep dish pizza.  Except I don’t actually want frozen pizza.  So maybe you could just fly over a chef and open a temporary pizzaria to provide us with cheesy goodness?  And while you’re at it, he could bring someone from Totonno’s with him for some super-thin offerings?  Thnx, hugs and kisses.

5. Tofu.  Not exactly native American fare, but in San Francisco it might as well be.  Whereas here, you can shell out 1.5 euro for one cube.  And that’s at the ASIAN supermarkets.  As opposed to the 24 it would buy you back home.  Yes, you read that right, tofu is 24 times more expensive here.

Time to go home and bury my pain in some amazingly sweet German strawberries and organic yogurt.

scientific studies

The first time I noticed a kitchen scale in the German’s house, I was worried that manorexia issues loomed large.  Then I realized this is just how they do in Europe.  Which a) thank goodness and b) is so superior to measuring cups!  This weekend, we purchased a new digital scale and never before has so much joy been bought for a mere 20 euros.  We celebrated this increased standardization of the kitchen with a chocolate cupcake recipe bake-off.  The idea was to narrow down a bevy of choices to one everyday, go-to recipe, but alas, this was foiled when we ended up with two, not one, favorites.  This is the flaw in democracy, as anyone following American politics today can tell you.

Also on this past weekend’s agenda – visiting the last Munich ice cream shop on my list.  I can safely say that Schubeck provides the top ice cream in Munich.  Yes, it’s a celebrity chef joint with overpriced pots and spice grinders from his own line.  Yes, they have freakishly over the top combinations like Lychee-Pistachio-Pepper.  But they also have truly excellent and brightly flavored classics with lots of bits (this is important) and fresh crunchy cones.  All this joy can be yours for just 1 euro.  Only I was able to brave the crowds, so I brought the German his standbys of stracciatella and cookies.  He was eating with enthusiasm while I chattered about the beauty of the shop: “it’s so bright and they have so many flavors and there was nutella and raffaello….”  “AHEM??  There was a NUTELLA flavor?  And you brought me….???”  Male-female communication.  It’s a difficult thing.

However, for those of you visiting or living in Munich, I would also highly recommend Engert’s, by Isartor.  Truly ginormous scoops and delicious flavors.  Anyone in the Rotkreuzplatz area should definitely hop over to Sarcletti, an institution that has my 40-year-old colleagues reminiscing about their father bringing it home when they were “good kids”.

Now off with you all to enjoy the 32C/90F weather!