popping a squat

Although Metzingen turned out to be hugely disappointing (for those of use who didn’t buy three suits and assorted accoutrement), the three day weekend was still completely relaxing and fun.  Relaxing is so much better when you can watch an endless parade of athletes sweating it out on the track.  Or in some cases, not.  World records aside, my favorite Olympic moment was probably when some Kenyan sprinter said it was too hot in Beijing.  Too hot? Are you one of those Kenyans that actually went to Washington University and has lived in the US since you were 4??

Although I had plans to raise an Olympic gold medalist by training my future child in an obscure sport (similar to medal plans of many countries, btw), after watching the 3km steeple chase, I’ve come up with an even better idea – create my own obscure sport and get it entered in the Olympics.  Americans have been quite successful with this in the past, so I have high hopes.

The only hurdle left is creating my own ultimate sport.  While competitive eating would be a natural choice, I have am significantly weaker in events measured by time rather than volume.  The obvious solution to this would be a contest where amount eaten is measured proportionally to body weight.  I may have to fight off a few Japanese senior citizens, but I should still medal.  My other suggestion is a sitting triathlon: squatting, lotus, and V-Sit.  So appropriate for an increasingly lazy population.  I am exceptionally skilled at squatting.  Although I fear this is a common skill, as it was only in the past year that I even learned there were people who couldn’t squat.  But after watching the German fall on his butt three times in a row, I know it to be true.  Are there more of you out there?

Lastly in Olympic news, while it is always moving to see your home country honored, I felt a special glow of pride hearing that Armenia led the medals-per-capita standings for the entire first week of competition.  Although now topped by Slovenia, with Jamaican track stars hot on their heels, I still applaud their accomplishment.  Menk Hay Enk!