checking up

As part of the visa application process in China, you’re required to go for a "health inspection" which is far less effective a form of weeding people out than say, the visa application process itself. What does this even tell you? That we don’t have swine flu on that given day? I may not support banning people with AIDS and syphilis, but at least I understand where it’s coming from. But what’s up with the colorblind test? The inspection takes place not at a "hospital" but at a "government health center". Which is basically a DMV with needles. Seriously, there’s even a photo station. And just like the DMV, your three hour visit can be broken down as follows:

30 minutes – filling out paperwork you already have
2 hours – waiting in line to pay
30 minutes – "health inspection"

Actually, not only was it like the DMV, it was pretty much identical to all the health care I have received in America, so I felt right at home. The biggest plus about this health center is that it was not in the seedy run-down strip mall across the street which I originally thought was our destination. Luckily, the driver corrected me before I had the chance to pass out in sheer terror.

The other best thing about the health inspection? Meeting people from Taiwan and Hong Kong who have to pass this and apply for visas. Actually, the best part was asking an employee why people from Taiwan and Hong Kong have to get visas:

Me: I thought it’s all one country.
Him: Of course. But they still need a health exam and a working visa to come here. Obviously.
The German: Stop asking questions. They’re going to put you on the anti-communism watch list and you won’t get a visa.

Also, sometimes when I write things about Communism in an email or post, I worry that my computer will spontaneously combust via internet spy bomb. So far, that hasn’t happened. Except on 24.

better dead than red

For anyone still under the impression that Communism and Socialism are the same thing, let me assure you they are not. First, one is about economy and the other is about politics. More importantly to me, in a socialized country, you will get massive amounts of vacation. In a communist country…it’s a lot closer to US democracy. In fact, it’s basically identical. I am currently the disgruntled owner of 15 days of vacation a year. Lest you forget, I already thought it unfair that I had only 26 in Germany while others had 30. Am starting to suspect this whole China move is a ploy on the part of the German to squash any future plans to move back to the US.

Because really, how do people do it? As I best recall, working under those circumstances was so unbearable to me I ended up quitting my job to travel and then moving to Germany. I used to laugh when the German said he refused to move to America unless he found a job with at least 20-25 days of vacation a year. But I think the man has a point now. It’s really inhumane. As it is, the 18 days of bank holidays make my current situation just about tolerable.

I know y’all are saying the money you save in taxes makes up for this. But personally, I took all that money, changed it to US dollars, and spent my vacations in the US buying jeans and gasoline like they were candy. So I’m not convinced. Especially since most of my friends in the US were in a tax bracket alarmingly close to mine.

Another difference on life in a communist state? I have seen the phrase ‘Everything Better Red’ twice this week.

munchies

The German, and many others, have a deep, paralyzing fear of street food. Of course, this usually applies not only to the guys pushing snack carts, but to any eating establishments without English menus, proper furniture, and/or ownership of the McDonald’s corporation. Me, I have more fear of eating at places that are owned by McDonald’s. A little Delhi belly never scared me, even when we’re talking about food from a train station cart actually in Delhi. And I am proud to say that for all my indiscriminate eating, I have never suffered.

And that’s because I do discriminate, my friends. Only not with logos, but with my brain. I think most of these rules for eating on the streets are pretty obvious and well-known, but a recap for those who spend their entire Asian vacations eating in hotel restaurants.

- Look at the food. It’s not that difficult. If it looks good and smells good, that’s probably a good sign. Does McDonald’s pass that test? No. Does the random dumpling sweatshop with the all-orange, all-plastic decor down the street? Yes.

- Look for people. First, crowds generally signify popularity. But even if you’re in China, where crowds just signify that you’re still in China, they at least tell you food is getting turned over pretty quickly and is fresh. Even better if you see that they’re running out of stuff. Don’t you always hear stories about people who only ate in their hotel restaurant and still got sick? This is because scared Western tourists are the only ones eating at their hotel restaurants. God knows how long that piece of fish was around before you checked in.

- Even more importantly, look for the ladies. Let’s face it, we all know that most dudes will eat anything off the street. Especially meat on a stick. But if there are women, or even better, women with kids packing it in, you’re in business.

- Get it while it’s hot. If something has just been immersed in a boiling oil bath or ladled from a bubbling pot, there’s only so much that can be growing there. Room temperature meats and salads that have been lying around for hours are a whole different story.

- No mystery food. Should you eat local specialties and try new things? Yes. Should you eat things where you can’t identify any ingredients or food groups? Not so much. See the guy selling roasted sweet potatoes? It’s an unmodified starch cooked entirely within its own wrapper. Idiot-proof street food. Start with this and work your way up.

You may now proceed to stuff your faces.  If you get sick, I can only assume you did not follow rule number one closely enough.  Review and repeat.

xoxo,

le petite mangetout

ride that train

Beijing has an amazing subway system. Not only does it have nine current lines (including the newly opened Line 4) and an average daily usage of 3.5 million a day, it is growing rapidly. So rapidly that a China guidebook from 2008 has only 3 lines, one from 2009 only has 5, and the map our hotel provided last week only has 8. So rapidly that there are an additional 9 lines being constructed as we speak and the total system will be the largest in the world and twice the current size upon my scheduled departure in 2012.

Did I also mention that the subway cars are the shiniest, newest, cleanest things I have seen and the walls of both stations and trains are plastered with flat screen TVs that alternate between news, Olympic highlights, stock tickers, and music videos brought to us by CPC and the gang? Oh, and a ride anywhere in the system costs 2 RMB – .20 cents? Well, .20 cents in euros. My fellow Americans may feel a stronger sting after a day of hopping on and off aimlessly.

A friend told us over dinner the other day that the subway used to cost 3RMB, but in order to encourage drivers to use public transportation and ease congestion on the streets, officials decided to lower the fare to 2RMB. Because Beijing residents who were buying private cars and taking cabs everywhere were doing it for lack of 1RMB to spare for the subway? Not that I’m complaining.

To highlight the unlikeliness of the ability of a 1RMB reduction in fare to encourage drivers to use public transportation, another recent policy to reduce traffic was to restrict cars from driving 1 day per week based on license plate numbers. The result? An increase in car sales to 2000 per day as Beijing residents purchase a second car to use so as not to inconvenience their lives. 2,000 cars per day being sold just in Beijing? Is someone at GM reading my blog and planning to lobbying NYC and SF to adopt a similar traffic policy? Please contact me for the bank details where my share in profits can be sent.

finding my way

The German and I have made it safely to China. Not only have we navigated through the subway, IKEA, and Carrefour, I am also making my way through the Great Firewall of China. As you hopefully can see. Also working on maintaining access to outside blogs, thanks to the wonders of RSS feeds. I hear they’re going to start cracking down on this though.

When I told one of my coworkers I was going to Beijing, he said, "That’s not really China! That will be like going to Los Angeles for you." What is amazing is not only his familiarity with US and Chinese cities, but the perceptiveness of his statement. So far, Beijing has been much like LA. Flashy shopping malls, big box everything, and carefully landscaped parks and highways. And lots of valet parking. Because who needs traditional Chinese living when you have Sephora and American Apparel at your doorstep? Why buy traditional mooncakes when Coldstone’s Creamery and Starbucks can supply a new and modernized version?

Earlier I asked the German if it was strange to be the only white person around and if he was experiencing major culture shock, only for him to reply, "No. I don’t really notice I’m the only white person around…until I’m lost and looking for you." Or when we walk down the street and children start pointing at him and yelling "lao wai! (foreigner!)" – wait, only I noticed that. Or when he saw a tank of turtles while grocery shopping and asked if those were pets. Um, sure. The pork and beef were pets also. And the shrimp in our shopping cart. That was exactly my plan for them.

The culture shock hasn’t affected me much, largely because I only venture out of our apartment for a few hours at a time. Those IKEA trips really take it out of you. Even more so in China than in Germany, where those orderly folks would never dream of venturing away from the designated yellow path. But I plan to stop by the office on Friday, and I imagine once I begin a regular working schedule, life will be very different. Mostly because they will have an espresso machine.